But fortunately for my opponents in the world crossbow tournament, Lens-Crafters, and anyone else with a stake in me losing sight in my right eye (JAVA BOOTH you're not blameless here), specifically my right, not yours, my sight seems to be drifting into a tide of fuzziness. Considering the laundry list of mechanical malfunctions I've been experiencing since a previously blogged vehicle massacred a previously blogged family of ducks. My own physical health is well within the bounds of spiritually enacted failure, and eyesight appears to be a natural kickoff to what will certainly be a systematic failure of all bodily functions. So to those who know me, don't say I didn't warn you. But surely, none of those ducks could have had time to conjure some horrific curse against me and everything I hold dear in those few moments, surely none of them could have focused on the vehicle bearing down on them, much less the driver through a highly reflective windshield on a sunny August afternoon. And with some research, there is no history of fowl-to-human curses, little has been spoken at all about any kind of bird cursing humanity. But this gets me to thinking, will this incident in August be the end of all human-kind? Are the suggestions of a bird-flu epidemic more than just fear-mongering by a power-hungry government? And consequently, if you are the person singularly albeit accidentally responsible for the extinction of the entire human species are you given some sort of pity-amnesty in the next life? My guess on the matter is no, and that those who spent their mortal visits bettering mankind will fall on my soul like a pack of wild dogs. And since this is more than likely the case, I will now officially apologize for the upcoming bird-flu epidemic as I know several of you were only a few payments away from ipods and haggar slacks. COFFEE CORNER will be running a internet fundraiser of compassion for my eternal infamy and to raise the funds necessary for me to get some frieking glasses.
