COFFEE CORNER makes its NFL picks, and then half-assedly tries to bring down the internet

To mix sentiments for a moment, COFFEE CORNER will combine its hatred of the internet with a thorough examination of the four NFL quarterbacks playing this weekend. People have lost all will to communicate normally, i.e. order pizza over the phone, ask a librarian for information, or forgo WEBMD to treat their own severed toe. And along these lines, who are these quarterbacks? My sister and I bought speed from Jake the Snake in an alley. Ben Roethslissbergensmerginlicthensteinevilevilevilmorgostromdoamus is a duplicitous puppy loving demon. Matt Hasselbeck reminds me too much of the future. And Jake Delhomme has obviously quit the pros to join some strange local touch-football team where no one keeps score. Will one of their personalities give them an advantage come game-time? Will a massive and crippling internet virus force us to wander out into the light and dance together under the life-giving sun? Will The Snake have anymore of that speed? Coffee Corner wants to know.